Tomorrow’s Future

Below is an update on my DVT. It’s personal and quite long winded to sum up one statement:

I’m scared.

Today during my government class, I received two phone calls from my health provider, neither of which I was able to take at the time but returned during my next free period.

The short of it is this: I have an appointment tomorrow with a hematologist at a St. Jude’s hospital.

This was, to say the least, terrifying to me. I haven’t received any blood work results from last week, and I haven’t been told anything other than the fact that my clot is still in the calf of my right leg. Then, all of the sudden, I’m getting a phone call about going to a cancer research hospital.

I was panicking, and I was in school. My teachers that are more like my friends were trying to calm me down along with the friends my age. I felt like my world was spiraling, and in a sense, I still do feel like it. I personally think I’m keeping to together really well.

My mother (who happens to be a nurse) has told me that it doesn’t mean anything, and she’s probably right. (She could be right, I could be fine.) She tells me that it’s because the only pediatric hematologist around here is at that facility. She tells me that this doesn’t mean anything However, these are the thoughts continue to go through my mind:

I knew they were sending me to a hematologist, but I didn’t know it would be so soon. I didn’t know it would be at a St. Jude’s. Why am I even going to the hematologist before I get my blood results back. What do they know that I’m not being made aware of? Do they think it’s a cancer? Do they think I’m in danger? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

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