Two Years Now

The aches are back, and the
pain doesn’t go away
when I go to sleep.
I’m alive but
without living because
you are gone. Life
is gray – it is
unbearable.

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Life

With the end,
Comes a beginning,
And with a beginning
Comes a new adventure.

When life hands you lemons,
And you hate the taste of lemons,
Take them anyway because Life
Could have handed you a knife instead.

When a door slams shut in your face,
Kick that door down,
Or at least knock it off its hinges
If you want what’s behind it badly enough.

There’s not a rule book on how to live,
So you have to find your own way
To deal with the things that you have to face,
And how you have to feel.

So when you get knocked down,
You can stay down for a while,
But for your own sake get back up
And show this life whose living it.

– National Poetry Month, 2018 (#4)

[“Life” was written in August 2015]

“Love isn’t roses…”*

Love is hard,
especially at a distance,
but it’s also the
easiest thing
I’ve ever done.

With you, the stars align –
I align –
and the fears fade away.
The monsters crawl back
under the bed and the
darkness recedes.

Love is finding out
that I am a “full person”
without you, but
life is so much better
with you beside me.

– National Poetry Month, 2018 (#3)

* Quote used as title is from Julie Murphy’s novel, Dumplin‘ (2015)

Depression (and Me)

It is waking up and still
feeling tired. It is
floating through life, everyone
else living around you.

There are days that I am fine,
and there are days I am not.
The Bad Days haunt my good days;
I know they attack quickly.

When they do, I hate myself-
my mind, my existence.
On the worst ones, I pray for
an end that is quick and soon.

But on my good days, I am
sure that I should be alive.
The sun shines brighter and so
I do too. My only wish
is that those days happened more.

-National Poetry Month, 2018 (#1)