A Letter to Myself: The Gym-Go-er

Dear Me,
You realized your first semester of college that you liked working out – go you! That’s great. Then life started getting in the way, and you weren’t able to go since before finals of the same semester. Now it’s the beginning of the second semester, and you have eighteen credit hours, an honor society, and your own mental health to look after. Not to mention some semblance of a social life, which normally is reduced to pizza and a movie with your best friend on a Friday night (because Saturdays and Sundays are for homework).

You’ve been down on yourself recently, and that’s okay. You’ve been eating everything that you can get your hands on (which varies from day to day), and just this evening your dad asked you if you’ve been to the Rec. recently. You said no, but that you’ve been meaning to. However, the thought has only crossed your mind a handful of time since classes started. The truth is that you just haven’t had the time to think about it.

But tonight is different. You realized that you missed it, and you asked yourself why. Some part of yourself says to lose weight (because you still hate your body, even though you’ve made progress on being nicer to it), but the biggest part says that it’s much bigger than that. It’s more important than that. You like going to the gym because it makes you stronger. It makes you feel better, mentally and physically. It makes you tired. It makes you feel like your body is owned by you instead of drowning you.

What is there to do?

Be patient with yourself. Make time for the gym, when you can, and try not to stress about it when you can’t. Eat when you have time because God knows you don’t have a lot of time these days, and some days you might overdo it – indulge some times! But don’t take that feeling of pride for your body go away. Own it. Whether you reach that goal weight by the end of the semester or not: Own it.

Love,
You.

A Look to the Future

Personally, I believe that I’ve grown quite a bit in my first few months of college. I’m living on my own, making friends, and not having to ask permission to go somewhere. It’s the life!
(That might be a bit of an overstatement. I’m still myself – I stress myself to the max most days, and honestly, when I’m not in class, 60% of the time I’m in my dorm room alone or at the gym.)

Either way, I’ve recently started thinking about summer vacation. After days of it being on my mind, maybe the only way to make sense of it is to write about it. So here I am! Trying that!

Since I’ve moved out, I’ve really started appreciating my home town. As much as I hated it when I was living there, when I was growing up, I really see how much it has affected me as a person, and I’m grateful for that. It taught me lessons that I’ve used everyday on campus. With that being said, I’m not sure that I want to go back to that for three whole months. I’ve escaped, and I don’t want to go back to that, to start depending on others again. Sadly, I don’t see a way around it.

I love my parents – seeing them, visiting, them visiting me – but I’ve gotten so used to being on my own that moving back in even just for the summer would be… weird.

What’s my answer? Summer classes? A job and an apartment? Going home and getting a job there?
I don’t know yet, but I’m sure that I’ll eventually find it.