Two Years Now

The aches are back, and the
pain doesn’t go away
when I go to sleep.
I’m alive but
without living because
you are gone. Life
is gray – it is
unbearable.

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“Love isn’t roses…”*

Love is hard,
especially at a distance,
but it’s also the
easiest thing
I’ve ever done.

With you, the stars align –
I align –
and the fears fade away.
The monsters crawl back
under the bed and the
darkness recedes.

Love is finding out
that I am a “full person”
without you, but
life is so much better
with you beside me.

– National Poetry Month, 2018 (#3)

* Quote used as title is from Julie Murphy’s novel, Dumplin‘ (2015)

Impending Doom

The thing is… I know how this is going to end. I’m going to be heartbroken again; I’m going to check my phone every five minutes to find nothing from you there. We’re going to go months without talking, during which time I will think about everything that I would have done differently – everything that I would have said if I had known.

I’ll think about all of the things that I found out after; I’ll find out the things that you  should have told me yourself. And people tell me that I should hate you, that I shouldn’t care whether you talk to me or not… But I do.

I care, and I don’t stop caring.

Then, just like this time, it’ll start again, and I’ll be happy. I’ll think that maybe this time will be different… Will it?