A Look to the Future

Personally, I believe that I’ve grown quite a bit in my first few months of college. I’m living on my own, making friends, and not having to ask permission to go somewhere. It’s the life!
(That might be a bit of an overstatement. I’m still myself – I stress myself to the max most days, and honestly, when I’m not in class, 60% of the time I’m in my dorm room alone or at the gym.)

Either way, I’ve recently started thinking about summer vacation. After days of it being on my mind, maybe the only way to make sense of it is to write about it. So here I am! Trying that!

Since I’ve moved out, I’ve really started appreciating my home town. As much as I hated it when I was living there, when I was growing up, I really see how much it has affected me as a person, and I’m grateful for that. It taught me lessons that I’ve used everyday on campus. With that being said, I’m not sure that I want to go back to that for three whole months. I’ve escaped, and I don’t want to go back to that, to start depending on others again. Sadly, I don’t see a way around it.

I love my parents – seeing them, visiting, them visiting me – but I’ve gotten so used to being on my own that moving back in even just for the summer would be… weird.

What’s my answer? Summer classes? A job and an apartment? Going home and getting a job there?
I don’t know yet, but I’m sure that I’ll eventually find it.

Rediscovering Old Writing

Feelings are tough. They’ll tell you when you’re lost, sad, or elated. But what we really notice is when they make us feel like a nail drawn to a magnet. And that magnet is normally another human being. Then sometimes that person doesn’t feel the same, or maybe they’re just shy like you are. It’s a confusing time, for sure, but one thing’s certain:
You want to be around them, talk to them, think of them, day dream about them every second of every day.

In my life, I have written more than I can keep up with. That includes little paragraphs here and there that get lost forever in the whim. Today I came across the paragraph above, and I realized that this is still very relevant to myself today. Whatever I was going through back then, I’m going through again.

While it’s sad to me that I’m back in this place, and I’m finding that the past does repeat itself, I also find this fact every important: I survived it back then, and I can survive it again.

17 Things I Learned During my 17th Year

  1. Five cups of coffee in one day is a bad idea.
  2. The dog on the side of the road is not more important than the traffic in front of you.
  3. Real friends always find their way back to one another.
  4. Cousins are your best friends.
  5. Be excited over the little things; these make life worth living.
  6. Parents only want you to be happy.
  7. Moms understand, and they want to help.
  8. There is no such thing as “too many books.”
  9. Teachers are the people that can change lives.
  10. Staying in touch with people from pre-school with can be one of the best decisions ever made.
  11. There is a great big world out there that no one has seen yet; explore it.
  12. Love doesn’t care about feelings; it will crush you. Repeatedly.
  13. Time doesn’t care if you’re ready; it’s going to keep marching on.
  14. If you find something you love to do, hold onto it and keep doing it.
  15. Sometimes life gets to the point where getting in your car, driving, and letting out a blood curling scream is the only way to keep from going crazy.
  16. High school isn’t an enemy.
  17. The future is horrifying; embrace the terror you feel.