I’m tired of the leaving.
Everyone leaves.
You were supposed to stay.
You were my constant,
Always there.
Then you left.
You decided I wasn’t enough.
Just like everyone else.
Now I’m grabbing for memories,
Laughs,
Smiles.
They’ll fade over time.
But I’ve learned a lot
About myself,
And my feelings for you are forever.
I’m sorry.
I’m stranded.
I’m stuck.
I’m you-less.
And I’m sorry.
Rediscovering Old Writing
Feelings are tough. They’ll tell you when you’re lost, sad, or elated. But what we really notice is when they make us feel like a nail drawn to a magnet. And that magnet is normally another human being. Then sometimes that person doesn’t feel the same, or maybe they’re just shy like you are. It’s a confusing time, for sure, but one thing’s certain:
You want to be around them, talk to them, think of them, day dream about them every second of every day.
In my life, I have written more than I can keep up with. That includes little paragraphs here and there that get lost forever in the whim. Today I came across the paragraph above, and I realized that this is still very relevant to myself today. Whatever I was going through back then, I’m going through again.
While it’s sad to me that I’m back in this place, and I’m finding that the past does repeat itself, I also find this fact every important: I survived it back then, and I can survive it again.
17 Things I Learned During my 17th Year
- Five cups of coffee in one day is a bad idea.
- The dog on the side of the road is not more important than the traffic in front of you.
- Real friends always find their way back to one another.
- Cousins are your best friends.
- Be excited over the little things; these make life worth living.
- Parents only want you to be happy.
- Moms understand, and they want to help.
- There is no such thing as “too many books.”
- Teachers are the people that can change lives.
- Staying in touch with people from pre-school with can be one of the best decisions ever made.
- There is a great big world out there that no one has seen yet; explore it.
- Love doesn’t care about feelings; it will crush you. Repeatedly.
- Time doesn’t care if you’re ready; it’s going to keep marching on.
- If you find something you love to do, hold onto it and keep doing it.
- Sometimes life gets to the point where getting in your car, driving, and letting out a blood curling scream is the only way to keep from going crazy.
- High school isn’t an enemy.
- The future is horrifying; embrace the terror you feel.
Alright. 